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Editor, Paul Rosenberger

Editor: Paul Rosenberger


APRIL 11, 2014


In lieu of the speaker, I gave a brief (for me) report on last week’s Sertoma, Inc. Annual Convention in Overland Park’s Sheraton Hotel.  Only 200 Sertomans and guests were registered – years ago up to 1000 or more attended this event.  Verlyn and I were the only attendees from Illinois.  We enjoyed excellent meals and good keynote after-dinner speakers.  I attended five training sessions: Legal Ramifications of a Not-for-Profit (sec. & treas.); Tune Into Your Well-Being (healthy living); Member Retention; Investments; & Boards & Committee Legal Responsibilities.  At the business sessions we heard about finances, membership – 10,939 (down 519) in 409 clubs, Annual Fund income $193,000 and grants, Awards of Sertoman of the Year, and Service-To-Mankind Recipient, Celebrate Sound (32 Walks - $113,654), Election results - Cheryl Cherny will be the Junior VP, and next year’s convention site – Raleigh, NC. I am always very impressed with the dedication and expertise of the headquarter’s staff.  Thank you for paying for my $400 registration. 




       April 15  – Service To Mankind Award Committee at 8:00 a.m. at Panera


       April  18 Regular meeting at 7:00 a.m. at Scovill Banquet Facility


       April 24  – EIU’s Scholarship Awards Dinner in Charleston


       April 25  – Pizza Party at Elmer & Mary Turner’s at time 6:00 p.m.


       May 6  –  Board meeting at 6:50 a.m. at Perkin





Sheriff Mike Borders had no late-arrivers to fine so immediately began asking a multiple trivia question about golf records since the Masters Golf Tournament is in the news.  His question: Who set the course record and at what score at Decatur’s three courses?  Most members knew it was Curt Rogers at all three courses, but Mike collected many quarters as the scores were guessed:  Answers: Scovill – 59; Hickory Point – 61; and Red Tail Run – 67.  Mick Hoehne pulled out Norm Jensen’s badge for the 50/50 prize money.






The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.  He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help.  If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"  The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."






Two little old ladies, Doris & Jackie, were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress.  The short one, Jackie, leaned over and said, 'Life is so boring.  We never have any fun any more.  For $10.00 I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid, boring flower show!'  

'You're on!' said Doris, holding up a $10.00 bill.

So Jackie slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the flower show.  Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling.   Finally, the smiling Jackie came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering, clapping crowd. 

'What happened?' asked her waiting friend.

'I won $1,000 for 'Best Dried Arrangement!'

APRIL 11, 2014


18 Breakfast Sertomans but no guests came for our regular meeting for the usual fellowship, tasty buffet breakfast, and some important announcements.  President Mick Hoehne conducted the meeting.  Alex Prather, our treasurer, had good news (?) for us today as he distributed our fourth quarter dues statements.  Mick gave the second reading of the nominations for 2014-15 board members as follows: Board Chair – Mick Hoehne; Club President – Chuck Shonkwiler; President-elect – Tom Smith; Sponsorship VP – Norm Jensen; Program VP – Will Sudduth; Membership VP – Lance Gauble; Social VP – Hugh Rowden; Sargent-At-Arms – Stu Hawbaker; Secretary – Paul Rosenberger; Treasurer – Alex Prather; At-Large Directors – Elmer Turner, Jami Bray, & Mike Boliek.



VP Will Sudduth announced future speaker responsibilities: Next Friday, April 18, Chuck Shonkwiler will bring a speakerOn April 25 we’ll socialize.  May speaker assignments: 2 – Bruce Logan; 9 – Mike Boliek; 16 – Mick Hoehne; 23 – Elmer Turner; 30 - Social





VP Lance Gauble was absent so we all know the words: “Bring guests.”







VP Hugh Rowden announced that Elmer & Mary Turner will host our pizza party at their home west of town.  Attendees are asked to bring a pizza, salad or dessert.  This is an opportunity to invite a potential member and spouse to meet us.  Next week let us know if you can attend, so the hosts can plan for the number of guests.  Alex Prather will bring the usual liquid refreshments.





VP Norm Jensen reported that he plans to discuss an issue with the hearing aid committee.  Tom Smith told me he has examined Mary Flint, the client we learned about from Sertoma, Inc. staff, and he will bring her request to the May 6 board meeting.  The PSA about our joint-club search for our annual Service To Mankind Committee Award recipient yielded one new nominee.  The committee will meet at Panera’s next Tuesday, April 15 at 8:00 a.m. to select the recipient, then will later meet the recipient(s) to establish a Friday morning in May for the award presentation.  Will Sudduth and Larry Fouste represented our club at ISU’s Scholarship Awards Dinner in Normal last Friday evening where our $1000 scholarship recipients, Olivia Arnos from Ingleside, IL (Lake County), a junior speech pathology major, and Jackie Yates from New Berlin (Sangamon County), an SIU-Carbondale graduate student working on her doctorate in Audiology, were honored.  Will said he and Larry were treated royally.  Olivia and Jackie offered to come to our Friday meeting soon to meet us and thank us.  Verlyn and I plan to represent our club at the scholarship awards dinner at EIU on April 24, and we’d like another couple to come with us. 


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