August 15, 2008 PROGRAM
Mike Borders,
Before introducing Mike Borders, Stu Hawbaker
had passed around a great picture from the Decatur Business Journal
showing Mike with a llama, both showing their teeth – a suggested
book cover for the many stories Mike could write about. Mike
then rehearsed some of his farewell speech for Sunday night. He began by
listing many reasons for how he knew it was time to retire from the
Scovill Zoo, several referring to his ‘advanced’ age. The clincher came
when he looked at the $$$$ numbers and found that his retirement income
would exceed his salary.
Mike then reviewed his history with the zoo, beginning with
working in 1966 for the Decatur Park District as a groundskeeper at
Faries Golf Course at a much lower salary than a possible job at
Caterpillar. He became our zoo director in 1975 soon after the previous
one died suddenly. He admitted knowing little about zoos when he began,
but he learned quickly when he attended numerous zoo conferences where
he became good friends with several famous personalities such as Jack
Hanna. He noted that zoo directors feel honored if another zoo
plagiarizes their ideas, such “Boo at the Zoo.”
Then Mike began relating memories that stuck out from his many
zoo years. One was having a Catholic nun chase him and hit him with her
Rosary beads when Mike could not stop a monkey from masturbating
while she was leading a class of kindergarten students on a tour.
Another incident occurred when a female visitor from another zoo,
wearing a shirt with a cheetah print, went into the pen with our two
usually calm cheetahs. They jumped on her and ripped the shirt off – she
thought it was wonderful and presented Mike a $500 donation for
the thrill. Another cheetah tidbit is the lack of squirrels and rabbits
around their pen; they obviously suffered the same fate as an errant
guinea. Mike said that twenty years ago they stopped taking
donations of pets from exasperated owners. He also told of stopping his
own nail-biting habit when he got some monkey fecal matter under his
nails. Thanks for the great entertaining report today, Mike.
August 17
– Mike Border’s retirement party at the Scovill Zoo Education Building
at 6:00 p.m.
August 22 – REGULAR MEETING at 7:00 a.m. at Scovill Golf Course
Banquet Room
August 29
– Special Meeting and tour at SAIL at 7:00 a.m.
August 31
– Angie Morris Benefit at 3:00 – 12:00 p.m. at Elks Lodge
September 2 – Board Meeting at 6:50
a.m. at Perkin’s Restaurant
By Editor Paul Rosenberger
SMART CAJUN
From the parish where drunk driving is considered a
sport comes this true story.
***************************
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Houma,
Louisiana. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the
bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled
around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly
observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys
on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall
into it.
He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the
bar and drove off. Finally, he started the car, switched the wipers
on and off - it was a fine summer night, - flicked the blinkers on
and off a couple of times, honked the horn, and then switched on the
lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little
and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the
other patrons’ vehicles left.
At last, when his was the only car in the parking lot, he pulled out
and drove slowly down the road. The police officer, having waited
patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the
flashing lights, pulled the man over, and administered a
breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no
evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded,
the officer said, 'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the
police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.'
'I doubt it,' said the truly proud Cajun. 'Tonight I'm the
designated decoy.'
|
August
15 Meeting REPORT
All twenty Breakfast Sertomans who came to enjoy fellowship and the
usual big breakfast arrived before the bell rang. President Stu
Hawbaker conducted the meeting. Treasurer Alex Prather
was back from his annual ‘vacation’ to Lancaster, PA for the Pull
Tab Trade Show where he learned new ideas for extracting money from
Bingo players – probably some of the same techniques employed by his
employer, the IRS. Alex was also sporting a tightly wrapped
right wrist following carpal tunnel surgery this week – no doubt he
waited until after the conference so he could be a ‘two-wristed’
drinker! So Mick Hoehne took good care of the money today.
Mike Borders brought some of his famous green and yellow peppers
to share
MEMBERSHIP REPORT
VP Mike Borders would have said: “BRING
MORE GUESTS.”
SHERIFF’S ACTIONS
Sheriff Mark Kennedy first asked us to show him some gold in
honor of our Olympians. Everybody had some, so he failed to collect.
Because nobody was late, Mark was completely whitewashed.
50/50
Steve Wentworth won the 50/50 prize thanks to Ron Wilson’s
lucky draw.
Lt. GOVERNOR’S REPORT
I should have reported that I installed the officers of the
Sertoma Club of Decatur last Tuesday. At that meeting I learned that
they have been very successful with sweet corn sales and plan to have
more corn this Saturday at Westminister Presbyterian Church and next
Tuesday at Hwy. 51 & Emerson Court.
SOCIAL REPORT
VP Hugh Rowden
said that he and his wife Linda are still planning our next
social.
FUTURE PROGRAMS
VP
Norm Jensen announced upcoming assignments. This coming Friday
Larry Fouste is bringing a speaker. On August 29 we plan to
meet at SAIL for breakfast and a tour of the building with a focus
on their deaf services led by Rich Adams.
SPONSORSHIP REPORT
VP Steve Wentworth had no report. Gaylan Turner
presented our club a $500 donation check from the Allstate
Foundation recognizing Gaylan’s and our club’s community
involvement. This is the fourth year in a row Gaylan has
applied for and received this donation for us. Stu Hawbaker
then announced that Mike Borders will be presented a $1000
check in his honor for the Scovill Zoo Foundation at his farewell
party on August 17. Mark Kennedy and Galen Clark
explained a benefit for Angie Morris, a dear friend of their
daughter and son. Angie recently was diagnosed with stage-4
colon cancer just a few months following the birth of her baby girl.
Our members were invited to contribute items for a silent auction
and to attend the event at the Elks Lodge at 2701 East Parkway Drive
on August 31 from 3:00 to midnight.
|
